Can People Change?

Yes, people can change (notes attached). As we learned from class today, people in sales expect people to be able to change. (I am not sure if this was a reasuring comment.) If we truly believe we have something that would be of benefit to people we love, we need to know how to promote this to them in a way they may respond.

In chapter 9 Pastor Alan does a great job laying out the framework on how to get people to change without using shame.

1. We must begin with prayer because only God can change the heart.
2. We change a negative spirit by sowing the opposite spirit.
3. We enable positive change through the power of blessing.
4. We help others embrace responsibility by treating them as if they are owners, not slaves.

Just as when we discussed guilt and conviction earlier in the book, we must use our words and efforts in others to produce life. Guilt produces death and does not promote real change. Conviction will speak the truth about bad behavior, but it will do it in a way that inspires change.

We all want our kids to change. At the very least to change from children to adults. Are we feeding them with life-giving words and love? Let's speak into them who God has called them to be.

Easter Egg Hunt

Easter is just around the corner, and the POPs class will be celebrating with a fun Easter Egg Hunt this Saturday, April 4th at 3:30. We will meet at the church and will host the festivities outside. Bring 12 plastic eggs filled with a small prize in each. Please contact Elisabeth Joyner for more details. This will be a great event for us to allow our kids to play together and for us to hang out. Look forward to seeing everyone there.

image courtesy of the River Church

Change is Coming

We are starting back with Shame Off You tomorrow with one of my favorite chapters. We will be on chapter 9: How to Get People to Change. The content of this chapter is so obvious it is almost embarrassing that Christians get offended by the title. We all want people to change. God wants us to change. There is nothing wrong with that desire.

The picture in this post is me when Alli first meet me. Thankfully for me she was not picky about men with lack of fashion sense. At the same time, she has helped me over the years to make better clothing choices. She did this without nagging, criticizing, and shaming. This is a simple example, but our lives are full of areas that really need changing.

If anyone has watch What Not to Wear, they actually do a good job (at times) of what is discussed in this chapter. Once you get past the early parts where they make fun of the person's clothing choices, they spend a good deal of time speaking to what is good in the person and how clothing could change the way they feel of themselves and how others see them. They help people see that they are trying to help.

This is definitely something we need to think through for our children. How do you bring them up in the way of the Lord without some changes in their lives along the way. How do we do this in a way that honors God and them?

That is what this chapter is about. We look forward to our class discussions on this topic.

Our Children are Raw Materials

The FamilyLife Weekend to Remember Conference was a wonderful getaway for Allison and me. We have been blessed to go to these conference so many times. This past one was a good reminder of things we have heard, being grateful for the principles it put into our marriage early on, and gave us new awareness since we now have children. Again, we would highly encourage any one to go for their own marriage booster shot.

In our absence POPs was blessed with the wisdom and teaching from Gwladys Keating. From the stories we have gathered, she came in and made use of the chalkboard. She discussed how every strength of our children have corresponding weaknesses and vice versa. And, even the strengths of our children need to be cultivated and matured. With that being said, we should never shame our children because of immaturity. We receive our children as raw materials. They are not born perfect. Therefore when they make mistakes we come alongside with encouragement, never shame.

Shame given during an honest mistake can easily lead to having your children not try again.

The other principle I took away from what I heard is the need to be specific. This is an obvious comment when disciplining our children, but it is also necessary when we are speaking blessings. The example is if we complement someone and say, "He is handsome." Our children could easily think they need to look like that person in order to be handsome. The difference would be to say, "He has a friendly smile," or "He is so nice to everyone." This helps our children to understand and assimilate what it means to us for someone to be handsome.

Our church is filled with some wonderful people that have wealth of understanding in the Lord. Gwladys is one of those treasures, and I am glad that our class had the privilege to learn from her.

Special Guest This Sunday

Allison and I will be out of town this week attending FamilyLife's Weekend to Remember Conference up in Roanoke. It has been several years since we have last attended, but it is always good to keep our marriage fresh. A good marriage is the best way to keep shame off our children.

Since we will be away, we have arranged to have Gwladys Keating to come share her experiences. Gwladys has a wealth of information and has led parenting seminars in the past. She knows the topics we have covered, and we just asked her to come share whatever she feels God leads. Please come with questions. She has the benefit drawing more examples as her kids are all grown up.

Success Does Not Heal

One of the greatest lies with regard to shame is that we will feel better if we can just be successful. All those demonic lies would be silenced by the power of great achievement. The story of Elijah tells a different story.

Sunday we discussed how the healing is found by walking with Jesus (notes attached). The problem is not that Jesus does not want to heal us. It is also not that He does not know how. The problem is we are afraid of what He is going to do. Will He make me come clean with my spouse? Will I need to quit my job to spend more time at home? Will He make me relive the pain in my past that I have tried so hard to forget?

What will God make you do? I don't know. I do know that Jesus weeps for you. He desires your healing and peace more than you do. He knows what is best for you. He created you for an exciting destiny and only He can lead you into it.

Photo courtesy of the NC Zoo.

Super Bowl Ad Censored by NBC

The Catholics were no holds barred on this ad especially with his stance on the issue.